Some of you may have read my last post about dating mistakes. Over the past weeks and months it seems like many of my closest friends have had encounters on the dating front ranging from the unusual to the flat-out disturbing (refer to my last post about dating mistakes). So I want your feedback. What are your ideas for dating "if you do this, I will run from your presence and tell all my friends to avoid you too"-- a.k.a. "what not to do's." To get your memories/imaginations flowing, here are a few more to add to the list.
1) Do not woo a woman (or man) by stalking them through fake aliases on the internet.
2) Do not woo a woman (or man) through stalking. Period.
3) Do not ask an engaged woman to remove her ring so you can take her out and show her off to your friends.
4) Do not DTR (define the relationship) with someone you've never been on a date with.
5) Poems are only good once the relationship is solid . . . and even then, my friend, use caution.
6) Do not date Jessica Simpson, or people who resemble John Mayer.
18 comments:
Ok, so first of all, I've got to say I'm not sure what "DTR" means in #4. Secondly, I wanted to say that I had the worst date of my life a week ago. I won't go into detail here, but if you'd like to learn more I can tell you. But yes, I would have to agree with all points you've made.
I'll have to hear the story. I just put in the definition for DTR to avoid future confusion.
I just realized I forgot to leave a bit of dating advice. This one's for the ladies: If a guy asks you out and you are NOT interested whatsoever...just say no. Plain and simple. Save us the time and money to use on someone else who might be interested. And for heaven sakes, leave the phone in your pocket or purse!
Oh, that's what "DTR" means. Sweet sauce. Yeah, I'll have to agree with that one as well.
How about, 1. Never use a pick-up line on someone you don't know or barely know. Ever. (as a joke with good friends is okay). 2. If you'll be wearing something nicer than khaki's please inform your date. I'll think of more later...
Good ones, Kelli!
1)Don't use High School tactics/reasoning/date-analysis outside of High School. This goes mainly for those of you who are still teenagers and are going after us who have matured beyond that point.
2)Timing is critical. If you think you may have a chance, you thought some spark of something is happening, do something about it soon. Sparks die fast, if you wait more than a week you're risk of rejection or coming off as "out of the blue" gets exponentially higher with every day.
3)Have a backup. This can refer to a backup plan for the date (which is handy if you don't know her likes very well yet), but also it can be a backup date (person). Don't get you're hopes up on one specific person at one specific event. Have a "girl/boy: B" Believe it or not, but my past has shown me that I end up having more fun with the backup person, than I do with the girl I originally had in mind. I'm not as worked up or shy on the date. I'm more myself, and it helps the overall atmosphere of the date.
4)Be yourself, but not TOO much yourself. You can have your opinions, thoughts, and personality. But don't go overboard. You are most likely to either offend your date, or bore them.
Worst Date I ever had was one in a big group where my date must've had a lot of caffeine because she was bouncing around everywhere and I ended up only seeing her about 10% of the date. The group went to a concert and she didn't sit next to me, during dinner, she didn't sit next to me. At the dance she disappeared into the crowd. At the end of the date, while at the dance I went home and left her there, which wasn't too big of a deal since the dance was halfway between our dorm floors. But she called me up and wondered why I left the date early and I told her because we didn't even talk on the date.
So if you go on a date in a big group, don't not talk with your date.
I like Will's advice. cool beans. Also, why do people say, "cool beans?" Aren't beans supposed to be hot.
dating advice:
Don't do any of these things to me because 1) they are creepy
2) they've been done before.
P.S. My blog is a secret. Bwahahahaha
Stay away from
1) heroin addicts
2) people who don't know how to use modern forms of communication
3) people who flee to foreign countries for weeks without telling anyone
4) taciturn and emotionally stunted people
5) cowards
after years I have finally learned these lessons
My dating advice:
1. Don't try to lure a girl through Facebook. That's just sad.
2. Don't put only one picture up of yourself on said Facebook that highlights you in the most flattering angle. Your prospective said girl will catch on quick that something doesn't look right (and that's YOU).
3. Don't look up a way to contact said girl by looking under Mutual Friends and begging one of said mutual friends to set you two up without ever talking to said prospective girl.
4. PLAN. THE. DATE. Don't stall in the car asking what she wants to do.
5. When you finally decide to drive to T.G.I. Fridays after ten minutes of listing local restaurants, don't ask to split the meal with me--I mean, said girl.
6. When you're on this date with said Facebook girl that you caught a date with by looking at the Mutual Friends section, don't say, "She's hot" about ANOTHER girl while staring at the t.v.
7. Don't ask this said mutual friend to ask said prospective girl if she digs you and if she would want another date. That's just sad.
Of course, that was a long rant slash advice. That was definitely the longest date of my life.
Oh wow, I HAD to stop and think of 10 things that could possibly make that date worse. I apologise for these in advance:
1) Unwanted physical contact (preferably lingering or sloppy)
2) Him dressed like Joe Dirt (Cut-off jean shorts, wife beater, mullet)
3) Conversation about his previous wives and how he can't for the life of him figure out why they left him
4) A proposal
5) Bad driving/Road Rage
6) A post-date debriefing where you two sit down and talk about how everything went, compliment the other while giving constructive criticism (like companionship inventory for those RM's)
7) Similar to the above, a DTR (which was aforementioned to never do)
8) Emitting the "Creepy Vibe" (there are more things in this world that will cause a guy to emit this than not. For the sake of not rambling i omitted them)
9) Him listing the creepy things he's done on other dates.
10) Asking you to become friends on facebook so he can peruse your pool of friends, and then ask you to do him the curtesy of setting him up with one of your friends.(Which by this point you are willing to do to keep him from calling you)
(P.S. you can take this list as more bad dating advice if you want, but I prefer you use it and let me know how things turn out. I've always loved good stories)
Margaret, I don't know you, but I also was lured through facebook and repeatedly stalked through blogger and skype by the same guy (hence the unhelpful photo and alias). Count your blessings.
But then again, we all make mistakes. Actually, most of my mistakes involve the breaking up. I'm not very good at that. I don't think guys want to hear, "I just don't like you that way, and this isn't going anywhere." At least, I haven't retained many guy friends this way. In fact, I have 0 to date. Ah, there's a double meaning in that.
Ok. I've thought long and hard for a good thirty seconds about these suggestions because I just don't think that they should go unsaid. (Esp, because if said creep is creepy enough to find this he really needs to know).
1) Do not stalk
2) Do not lie about stalking
3) Do not think women are too stupid to know when you are stalking (even if we cannot prove it. we know, and so do all our friends)
4) Do not create fake aliases and add friends from your home state (this goes back to #3)
5) If you have done any of these things and the amazing woman finally confronts you on it, don't lie. It just makes you look like more of a loser (cause we know when you are lying, and so do all our friends)
6) Don't overestimate your own intelligence while stalking. If you were smart, you wouldn't stalk.
7) Don't say "I love you" over facebook while stalking another woman under the alias of a past lover.
8) Don't say "I love you" over facebook.
9) Don't make it seem that the girl is in the wrong when she finds out what you have been doing. This will only make your eventual, and inevitable resolution/repentance process worse.
10) If you have done any of these things, the best thing to do is fess up. It's the only way to make things right.
(I'm convinced this is one way abusive relationships start.)
Advice for stalkee:
1) Don't provoke stalker, as much as you might hate him. It only makes it worse.
2) Don't talk to friends of friends of stalker. Remember, these people are either oblivious, or endorse stalker behavior.
3) Get some good guy friends who can jujizso (or whatever) his butt if her ever shows up in person.
4) Use fake aliases (you can learn this one from the stalker) to hide. Don't enable your blog profile.
Can I volunteer to do the ju jitsu - ing on the stalker?
Why, yes you can!
I was just going through your comments because, well, I don't get any cause no one reads my blog because I don't take the time to write about really interesting things or use proper grammar or even just not use run-on sentences. Runon? Run--on? Ruon? Run? Ron? Harry Potter.
Bye
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