January 2011 post updated: A take on Jane Austen's lesser-beloved

Jane Austen. Whatever your reaction to her books or the myriad films based on them, you cannot deny the accuracy of her character portrayals. I have learned a lot from Austen's characters, including this truth: personalities around in Jane Austen's era are just as fully rampant in ours.

Let's agree that not everyone we meet is an Elizabeth Bennett or a Mr. Darcy. But do they exist in the people around us? Yes.

Her other characters? Yes . . . even those we wish weren't.

Mrs. Elton? Oh yes. She is fond of one-upping and feels she is better than you. A trait shown clearly in the mock-humble way she talks about herself: "I don't say so, but my friends say I make a good sandwich."  "I don't say so, but my friends say I have quite the eye for fashion."

Have I met a Lydia Bennett or two? Girls who generate drama, make immature choices, put the worst guys on pedestals . . . Yes. Willoughbys and Wickhams? Yep. What about men with spoiled daughters similar to the father-daughter duo in Persuasion who spend themselves steep into debt to maintain their image and hate the prudent one in the family? Yes.

What of Mary Bennett who suffers from plain-looking middle-child syndrome and compensates by trying to be more righteous and talented than the rest? You know it. What about those who would try to persuade an Anne away from a Wentworth? (In other words, someone who would try to persuade a wealthy and liberal-minded 19-year-old away from marrying someone they viewed as dim-witted who was going into a blue collar livelihood?)

They exist, we meet them. We interact with them. Maybe we are them.

I bring up this topic, not to crush people's dreams of meeting Mr. Darcy or exposing anyone as anything less than an Elizabeth Bennett. But, to say that not everyone is Darcy or Elizabeth, thatt's how it needs to be.

Darcy and Elizabeth are only two personality types, and both of them pretty far A-type at that. Neither of them would be who they are without their closest friends, the kind-hearted Jane and the eager-to-please-and-give-approval Bingley.

I've found greater understanding for people, having first met their fictional equivalent. I've also found greater understanding for myself. I'm not Elizabeth, nor any one of her sisters. I relate more to Elinor Dashwood, who acts sensibly even though it's not always easy, who is at times jealous of and other times concerned for her more free-spirited sister. But who knows? Perhaps I'm really Mrs. Charlotte Palmer - the overprotective mother who laughs in the face of political discussion and constantly exaggerates.

Now, this is not my one and only standard for understanding people. But it has been helpful, often leading me to greater compassion and gratitude. Gratitude that though the person I know may resemble one of the lesser-beloved Austen characters, they are a far milder version.

Some people may still feel that all Austen-heroines and their supporting casts are images cut from the same mold. To you, I would suggest reading the books. Then let's discuss further.

Originally posted with far less detail and clarity back in January of 2011.