Earlier this morning I came to the realization that to some people, callings really do matter. A brief visit with a friend opened my eyes-- he is once again pursuing the Relief Society president of his ward. And he will introduce them as such to his friends, even before mentioning their name. I don't think he consciously goes after women because of a calling-- at least I hope not. However, his actions point to a particular taste for the spiritually "resume-ready" woman. Much like the lovely lady you see photographed to the right.
I couldn't stay long in his apartment--couldn't stomach it. I had to cut our conversation to a rather sudden (and perhaps awkward) end. I ran out the door saying something about working on the wedding photographs I'd taken last week (which is true, I'm still working on them). But my real reason for leaving was the flood of feelings that I couldn't manage while still in his presence. I felt bad for him--trying to fill the void in his life with someone else's title. I felt awful for the girl--another girl subject to the age-old "I love her because she's relief society president" suitor. I felt bad for all women (and men) who get compartmentalized into their callings or a relative's calling (if their grandpa is a member of the seventy or something). I felt burdened having this knowledge of my friend's actions suddenly manifest to me. Overarching the bad, I felt a lot of joy remembering all my close friends who would never (ever) seek after the resume girl or boy.
If you are interested in a person because of who they are and then you find out "oh, that's the Elder's Quorum President" -- that's one thing. Starting off your search for Mr. or Mrs. Future-Eternal-Companion should begin with the person themselves, not with the office or title they hold. Or you will find yourself like the wife of the fabled old fisherman demanding more and more of your companion without ever being satisfied.
It is important to surround ourselves with people who carry the spirit with them. People are drawn to light. And if you carry that light, people will want to be around you. If it's the light that draws someone to you, right on! If it's your calling beware!
Note on Shakespeare's 444th birthday: Early morning. 4:44 a.m. Mo and Michelle descend the stairs into Analiesa Leonhardt's bedroom, flashlight and Shakespeare's collected works in hand. Nathalie joins us. In the dim light, we read Shakespeare's sonnet 44 (XLIV). Gathered on Analiesa's bed all of us bend our heads over the book as Mo reads the poem aloud, slowly. That early in the morning it had to be read slowly. Happy birthday, William.
8 comments:
I'm a little shocked that people do this. I can't say I've come across it before. To admire someone for their willingness to serve in a calling is one thing, but to be attracted to them just because of their actual calling? That doesn't pan out to me. Callings are simply an opportunity to serve others. It's the people that matter. I've been stereotyped because of my calling before, I didn't much like it.
On a side note, I really didn't appreciate the people who said things such as "You're executive secretary? Man that must suck." No, it didn't suck. It was awesome. It was a wonderful opportunity to serve, I learned so much about how a Bishopric works, what keys the Bishop holds, and how a ward functions. I was able to get to know almost all of the ward, something I doubt I'll do on my own (and never would have done before). Why do people get so caught up in the "my church calling is getting in the way of my personal life" mode of thinking?
...Hmmm I guess I just found a good subject for my next blog. Anyhow, excellent topic Mo. I agree, people are more important than callings (or resumes, for that matter). Thanks for the link to "The Fisherman and His Wife," I loved it! Especially the symbolism at the end.
I know a R.S. president that isn't sure if she has a testamony.
And I couldn't make myself wake up at 4:44am to read a shakepeare, no matter how much respect I have for the guy!
Hey Mo, didn't you used to be Relief Society President? If so, do you want to go out on a date with me this weekend? I used to be a senior companion on my mission.
I'm the great great great great great ... of this guy named Adam. Any takers?
John is being a creepy stalker. Make him stop.
52 reasons not to be friends with JMH. See blog.
photos. california. now.
eight. my house. girly movie. tonight.
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