I'm jealous of bloggers who seem to be able to share just about anything they want on their blogs and keep their blogs public and nothing happens to disturb the happy flow of their day-to-day chronicling. I decided to give that kind of blogging a try a few months back and tell a bit more about what's going on in my life, about my marriage, my future plans . . . I think that's what most people expect and even want when they enter a friend's blog. But my plans took a necessary shift.
My blog was hit by what I now call an "anonymous drive-by." In Mo terminology: someone who leaves a particularly nasty comment or ill-founded partial argument anonymously on a blog. Having a life spotted with seasons of stalkers and a family story colored by painful misunderstandings and necessary divisions, I've realized I can't say everything I'd like in this blog without putting said information in the way of those I would keep at a distance. Perhaps you've noticed how the blog-posts have once again slowed the last couple months . . .
I've been debating. Do I keep the blog public and just avoid posting personally-relevant happenings? Or, do I take the blog private and keep readership to those people whom I know aren't past stalkers or creepy friends of creepy extended family? But going private means that a lot of friends who now read my blog would never have found my blog if it had been private before, and thus will I be keeping other friends of mine from being able to connect with me by going private now? . . . And so, the debate goes on.
Let me know what you think. Should I stay public or go private?
Should I eat peaches or parsnips? Do I dare disturb the universe? Perhaps.
11 comments:
I htink you should still be able to post your personal things on your blog. I mean, isn't that one of the main purposes of a blog? We post about our lives to keep in touch. If that means making it provate, that's ok. Your real friends will keep reading. You can post links to it on facebook and other people will still hear about it if they want, and then you can add them to your list. Either way, your blog is your space and should be what you want it to be, regardless of other people's petty comments.
They say that negative comments are never about you, they're always about something that's wrong with the commenter (whether that's a permanent or temporary condition).
My totally-self-interested vote is for keeping your blog public. I have several friends and family members who've made their blogs private, and even if I'm one of the invited readers, I seldom think to go read them. I read all my blogs on my feed reader (I read over 200 blogs daily for work and pleasure), and it's hard for me to remember to check each other blog that my friends have.
NO!!! I can't blog stalk you if you do that!
I would hope you would keep it public. It makes me sad that people go on and make nasty comments. I had to abandon one blog because my husband's aunt called my mother-in-law to let her know that I was inappropriate and she had to ban her daughter from reading it. (I was writing about how some Relief Society woman are crazy...ironically enough.)
If leaving it public will limit your creativity and what you post about your life then go private. You have the right to post what you want and if you want to use this a as a sort of a public life journal with pictures you shouldn't feel limited. You can still have a link on your current blog and on facebook, people will just have to request an invite from you. I have a friend that leaves her public blog open and posts a new post every time she posts on her private blog so that people who use google reader will know...then they just click on her public blog and click the link at the top for her private blog and usually people are already logged in if they have a gmail account (at least I am). It's not a big deal for me and I regularly check all my private friends' blogs.
I've been on both sides of this. I left a nasty and really stupid comment on a blog under the Mosby principle (see blog for definition) that I will regret forever. It was a defensive anti-stalker maneuver that went horribly wrong and complicated.
Consequently, I don't post about where I am going or where I am anymore, just where I've been. The blog-facebook-myspace-phere is too permanent, public and one-sided a place to speak as if one is speaking with a close friend. I mean, the last words said stalker said? "I'll be around . . ."
Times are different. Just because somebody isn't hiding outside your window (remember that prowler that one time?) doesn't mean he isn't capable of hurting you.
I've been followed by creepy men in Paris and followed to my apartment by random (strangers) wierdos knocking on my door and asking for dates. I once told a man I was leaving town for a month. A month later he called because he had "Seen my car in the parking lot." We did not share a parking lot or apartment complex or ward or anything. Years later I learned that same guy's recreational activity included punching things for no reason.
I've called the cops twice on men I didn't know, but I have never been hurt the way I've been hurt by the cyberstalker.
I've never been so afraid and my life has never been so disrupted. I regret stooping to the level of my stalker by writing mean things on his blog, but I learned my lesson: Never try to out creep a stalker. He wins every time.
Dude, I never realized how creepy my life has been until I wrote this comment. Protect yourself, but my case is probably extreme.
http://www.rvap.org/pages/cyberstalking/
I say keep it public and moderate the comments. And say whatever the heck you want to say!
P.S. Youtube people scare me.
I think in the end, Mo, nobody can really harm you knowing your favorite books or movies or future plans. I know that there are people who will probably read my blog that I wouldn't really want to have read it, but as Micah told me, it REALLY doesn't matter what they think or what they say. For a huge chunk of my life I hid myself because I was afraid of people thinking less of me, even people in my own family. I agree with Lydia that you should just moderate the comments, and say what you want to say!!!
I think Kelly makes good points. I don't read private blogs, though. I would miss you :) But she still makes good points. I have both a private blog and a public one; they serve different purposes.
I am sorry that you are getting nasty comments. That stinks.
I also don't tend to follow private blogs as closely for some of the reasons listed about, even though I try to remember and visit them anyway. So, if you do go private, I hope that we still get invited to read you blog.
We haven't had any problems with unwanted visitors or comments on our blog. I think that is in part because we don't allow anonymous comments, and we put our settings so that search engines can't find our blog and our blog is not on Blogger.com listings. If you haven't already done those things, you might want to try that before trying to go private.
Go private. I did it a couple months ago, and I'm glad. But I am also glad I had it public for a couple years, so I could build up a readership.
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